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Apr 2012

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First Person Singluar

Small Time Businessman Meets Big Time Union Finance Minister

Aroon Sharma
Aug 2009

( The sole inspirational force behind the write up was General Budget 09-10 )

( The appointment materializes. The businessman reports at 8.30 am sharp. He doesn't mind the body search. In the waiting room, he's offered fresh lime juice. Its 8.58 am. The assistant private secretary is polite: “You have 10 minutes, sir !”. The peon leads him to the office. The Businessman savours the sight of the Union Finance Minister. )

Businessman: Good Morning, Sir !

Fin Min: Very Good Morning. My pleasure. What a pleasure !

( An uneasy pause. The businessman shuffles his feet. The FM smiles. )

Fin Min: Tell me, what are you doing ?

Businessman: Sir, business !

Fin. Min: Good for our economy. I mean pay professional tax !

Businessman: Sir, Sirr, I mean to say….I mean that….

Fin. Min: You mean you sell a lot of goods ?

Businessman: Yes Sir, yes Sir, that's what all business is about ! But, Sir…

Fin. Min: I hope you realize that sales tax we levy helps our economy !

Businessman: But Sir, Sirr, mine is a small business ? Really small, and…

Fin. Min: See, Octroi, Customs and Excise help in quicker clearance !

Businessman: But Sir, profits after tax are hardly a a mentionable income ?

Fin. Min: Law is that on profits, income tax has to paid. Please abide !

Businessman: But I distribute the profit as dividend. I have to, sir !

Fin. Min: Responsible of you. We have Dividend Distribution Tax !

Businessman: Sir, I need to keep some funds aside for the factory ?

Fin. Min: Of course you should after paying Municipal and Fire Tax !

Businessman: As you are aware, we have to have some staff and, Sir …

Fin. Min: Generate jobs. Go ahead. But do pay Staff Professional Tax !

Businessman: From micro to medium to small business was 24x7 toil !

Fin. Min: Great going ! We encourage turnover through Turnover Tax

Businessman: Just when the turnover turned a million, the Budget…..

Fin. Min: Oh that one ! Its Minimum Alternate Tax. Repeat minimum !

Businessman: We businessman have to withdraw Rs 25,000/- in cash….

Fin. Min: We have the data. Thus we imposed a Cash Handling Tax !

Businessman: And Sir, we have to often wine and dine our clients, so…

Fin. Min: The Food and Entertainment Tax helps you clinch a deal !

Businessman: Sometimes, my staff or I have to go out of station and…

Fin. Min: Whoever goes pays Fringe Benefit Tax. Try working it out !

Businessman: And times are hard. We often outsource a service but…

Fin. Min: You must ! That's a global trend. And so is the Service Tax !

Businessman: My staff, my clients gift me cash on festivities. Me too …

Fin. Min: Indian traditions are too strong. We have Gift Tax for that !

Businessman: Who doesn't save. Over the years, I have some wealth….

Fin Min: The next generation must feel secure. Wealth Tax is there !

Businessman: On weekends, my family insists on a movie or a resort….

Fin. Min: Entertainment Tax symbolizes householder's love for family !

Businessman: It's a householder's love for family that we buy a house…

Fin. Min: Paying stamp duty and Registration Tax brings peace ! Try !

Businessman: What are these additional taxes in fine print, Sir ?

Fin. Min: Nothing Much, Education and additional Educational Cess..!

Businessman: And I am told of some surcharges, too?

Fin. Min: Oh, Yes, There's One ! Surcharge on All Government Taxes !

Businessman: After paying all this, Sir, we often miss the pay-by-date ?

Fin. Min: Well, for that a notional interest and penalty is all we want !

Businessman: My time is up, Sir. Thank you, Sir. My TIME is really up..

Fin. Min: No ! No ! Hold on for that year till we impose a Funeral Tax !

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