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General
Birth Stones, Flowers & Ministrial Berths !
Aroon Sharma
Nov 2010
Nov 2010
The era is of Empowered Group of Ministers. Ever saw a Group of Ministers waiting to be empowered ? Well, I saw; some 35 ! Pertinent to know, what was I doing there ? I was tipped by a source, an AICC ministerial aspirant. Who isn't ?
Each was sizing up the other from the corner of his eye. And with contempt.
Me, Myself and I broke the ice:
“Aap sab ek saath ? Naa dekha tha, na suna tha ?”
“Tum patrakar bhi naa, bedroom mein ho, bathroom mein ho, bar mein bhi ho !!1”
“Aap Mantri hain ! Apka apna kaam hai ! Mein patrakar hun ! Mera apna !”
“Ab hum ek saath hain, yahan hain. Issmein kya samachar hai ? Aap jaiye ?”
“Abhi mujhe hi pata hai; saare media ko pata lag gaya ! Exclusive nahi rahega ?”
“Dekhiye, koi khaas baat nahi; reshuffle hone wala hai ! Issliye yahan aa gaye !”
“Kya Gemologist-Guru ji itna gyan rakhtein hain ? Itne vidhwaan hain ?”
“Hum ko toh sampoorann vishwas hai. Birthstones yahin se lete hain !!”
“Dekha, bahar board hai, month of birth bataiye-Rs 100,001 ka stone le jaiye ?”
“Aap patrakar kya jaane ? Gemologist-Guru ji ko pushp gyan bhi aata hai !”
“Aap sab sach mein lucky hain ! Sarkari nursery se koi bhi phool muft milta hai !”
“Acha ab aur prashann nahi ! Guru ji aate honge ! Shubh gharri aa gayi hai ?”
Enter Sarv-Samasya-Samadhan-Pushp-Gyan Gemologist-Guru ji.
Bare chested; bare foot ! Rudraksha around the neck; upper arms ! At peace with himself; in a hurry with the visitors. He spoke extempore:
“January born ke liye, right index finger mein Garnet aur office mein Snow
Drop ke pushp !”
( Three January born Mantris, prostrated themselves, placing Rs 100,001 at Guru ji's fee t)
“February born ke liye, left middle finger mein Amethyst aur lobby mein Primrose
ke pushp !”
( Two February born Mantris, prostrated themselves, placing Rs 100,001 at Guru ji's feet )
“March born ke liye, right thumb mein Aquamarine aur corridor mein
Daffodils ke pushp !”
( One March born Mantri, prostrated himself, placed Rs 100,001 at Guru ji's feet )
“April born ke liye, left index finger mein Diamond aur staircase mein Daisy ke
pushp !”
( Two April born Mantris, prostrated themselves, placed Rs 100,001 at Guru ji's feet )
“May born ke liye, right little finger mein Emerald aur entrance mein Hawthorn ke
pushp !”
( Three May born Mantris, prostrated themselves, placed Rs 100,001 at Guru ji's feet )
“June born ke liye, left thumb mein Pearl aur car park mein Rose ke pushp !”
( Two June born Mantris, prostrated themselves, placed Rs 100,001 at Guru ji's feet )
“July born ke liye, right middle finger mein Ruby aur reception mein Larkspur ke pushp !”
( One July born Mantri, prostrated himself, placed Rs 100,001 at Guru ji's feet )
“August born Mantris ke liye, right fourth finger mein Peridot aur conference
room mein Poppy ke pushp ! ”
( One August born Mantri, prostrated himself, placed Rs 100,001 at Guru ji's feet )
“September born ke liye, left little finger mein Sapphire aur lobby mein Morning
Glory ke pushp ?
( Two September born Mantris, prostrated themselves, placed Rs 100,001 at Guru ji's feet )
“October born ke liye, left fourth finger mein Opal aur terrace mein Calendula ke
pushp ?”
( Four October 11 born Mantris, prostrated himself, placed Rs 100,001 at Guru ji's feet )
“Avashya, kuch vartmaan ya bhavishya ke mantri honge jinko apna month of birth theek se yaad hi nahi hoga ya pata hi nahi hoga ?”
“Ji Guru ji, jab padai hi nahi karee toh theek date of birth kaisa pata ho ? Chunav larrna padta hai so jo likh diya woh likh diya ?”
“Kyun vyarth ki chinta karte hain. Aise netagunn ke liye mere paas vishesh upaaye hain. Note kijiye Topaz aur Turqoise !”
“Kaunsa, kis kis finger mein Guruji ? Darr lagta hai, kahin, ulta asar naa parr jaye ?
“Yeh dono free, any finger birthstones hain. Phir bhi Topaz ke saath balcony mein Chrysanthemum ke pushp aur Turqoise ke saath ante room mein Holly ke pushp !”
(14 ministers not knowing the month of their birth, went on bended knees, folded hands, prostrated themselves, placed Rs 200,002 at the Guruji's feet for the two !!)
“Aur aap ka parichay ?” -- ( Gemologist- Guruji twinkled his eyes towards me )
“Ji mein ek patrakar hun, mantri ya neta jahan jahan; mein wahan wahan !!”
“Chiranjeev raho ! Dekha kitne Mantrion ki mujh pe aastha hai ! Kya likhoge ?”
“Yehi ki MPLADs ka kahan, kis pe, kin baaton pe, kaise aur kitna upyog hota hai?”
“MPLADs kya hai ? Bata dijiye ! Bhavishya mein uska bhi birthstone rakheinge !”
“Har MP ko Rs 2 crore LOCAL AREA DEVELOPMENT SCHEME ke milte hain?”
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