( August 29, 2009. UPA-II's 100th day in office. The RAX (Restricted Access Exchange ) rang. The Prime Minister was on line.The Minister came running ! )   

Minister: "Thank you for calling, Sir ! At your service, Sir !"

PM: "100 days back I told you, you have 100 days ! And I'll call you !"

Minister: "Oh ! 100 days ! Sir, you told even the media about 100 days !”

PM: “See, a call on the RAX means either I have to ask, advice or call you over !” 

Minister: "Yes Sir ! Yes Sir ! Ask me to come, I'll abide by your advice ! Try it, Sir !”

PM: “Not that ! Not That ! Tell me what have you done in 100 days ?” 

Minister: “Sir, Day 1 had 'havan' at home. Day 2 made vaastu shastra changes in office. Day 3….

PM: “No, not what the ministry has done to you; but what you have done to the ministry ?”

Minister: “I chose a PS, chose 4 APS, chose an OSD, even chose 3 chauffeurs, 5 vehicles !”

PM: “Please ! Only your work ? The output ? The forward movement ? File clearance ?”

Minister: “Worked hard, Sir ! And output, Sir ?  Was never 'out' ! Stayed 'put' in office !

PM: “And file clearance ? You know a file cleared; is a project cleared !”

Minister: “Sir, I directed my staff to clear my office of all files. And I don't have any files left !”

PM:  “I expect my ministers to throw up new ideas and implement them ?”

Minister: “Sir, twice I threw up  once in the staircase; once on my seat. Then took supplements!”

PM: “Not supplements ! Ideas to be implemented. ? You can't escape the media gaze?”

Minister: “But I do escape media, Sir ! I leave home late, reach office late. But leave early !”

PM: “I asked about implementing the ideas you must have thought of within 100 days ?”

Minister: “I'll re-explain, Sir !. For 100 days I 'implemented' the 'idea' of avoiding the media !”

PM: “I give up. You have given me an idea of replacement. I shall implement it soon !” 

Minister: “Sir, you have no vice, so, Sir, how can you give up what you don't have ?”

PM: “Do you understand replacement ? I would weed out the dead wood !”

Minister: “I get it, Sir ! It rains ! Trees fall. It's dead wood. And puddles breed weeds ?”

PM: “Enough !! Are you aware voters are learned. They expect ministers to be wise ?”

Minister: “I know, Sir ! Why only wise, Sir ! We should be healthy, wealthy and wise !”

PM: “I warn you ! No minister be seen in a gym wasting public wealth for personal health !”

Minister: “Never, Sir. Never ! I strictly believe that health and wealth are homely affairs !”

PM: “Back to the original query ? What do I tell Madamji, what have you done in 100 days ?”